Best One Night Stands Ever!
These are best one night stands ever. But it's not exactly how it sounds.
There was one morning when I woke up with this overwhelming feeling of uncertainty and a bit of anxiety.
Here I am, living it UP on a solo trip to SE Asia and I feel doubt about me being here.
Not exactly sure where that feeling came from, as the night before, I had one of the best times of my life at the Full Moon Party on Haad Rin Beach, Thailand. More than anything, it hit me that I have literally given up all that I *thought* I valued to travel the world and truly find what makes me the happiest when I quit my job. I certainly did not expect this trip to be filled with excitement the entire time; I knew I was going to have moments of emotional clarity, but not that quick! Only two weeks in.
Yes, I have met tons of people from all over the world; friends I have made for a lifetime.
I would compare the feeling of meeting and say goodbye so often to these amazing people as a One Night Stand. Here you are, meeting these amazing groups of individuals, you are best friends for a few days, and just like that, everyone separates and continues on their journeys. You meet, have the times of your lives ("climax"), then it's over - until you meet more amazing people and do it again. Yes, you will connect on Facebook, promise to stay in touch, but you are always chasing the next One Night Stand, then REPEAT.
Moreover, I realize I am completely vulnerable at this point in my trip.
I have no idea when I am returning home; even then I do not have a solid plan. Anybody who knows me personally knows that I ALWAYS have a plan of action. My Type A personality is being challenged, and I welcome it, but it is completely uncomfortable and a bit painful at times.
A friend who met me on my trip to the Thai islands left this morning, and it stung a bit. A piece of familiarity and the home was moving, and I had to start over again - another "One Night Stand."
And still, I would not trade where I am now, these temporary feelings of doubt and uncertainty I will endure vs. going back to my Old Life. As with a diamond, you have to go through pressure and fire to see the beauty that is underneath. With that, I will keep pursuing these One Night Stands and looking forward to the journey ahead.
UPDATE: I wrote this post almost a month ago. Since then, my perspective has changed a bit. Instead of looking at this from a "hit it and quit it" angle, I see it now more as collecting these beautiful and rare friendships; friendships I would have never made otherwise. So often we can get caught up in our immediate feelings and not look at the broad, beautiful picture!
UPDATE #2: Almost a year later, I am still very many friends with some of these people!